(so I couldn't come up with a more creative title. Sue me.) :)
I was reading John Eldredge's latest book, Walking with God, which focuses on how to hear God's voice more daily. One of his "tips" is to ask God simple questions - questions that are not all tied up in emotions, like, "Should I take this job?" That way, we are not filtering God out or preventing him from speaking because we have strong feelings about the subject.
Eldredge recommends asking God what to read in His Word every day. He said it gives your quiet time more resonance, because the chapters you read very often speak to what you're going through or what you will be going through. (I'm not explaining this very well, but hopefully you're getting the gist.)
So I decided to try it out. And it works! Pretty much every day, I have heard God tell me what to read. Sometimes, it doesn't apply. But more often than not (like 7 out of 10 times), it totally does.
Here are some of the verses that have jumped out at me recently. God has been directing me to the Psalms.
"Be still, and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10
"I waited patiently for the Lord, and He inclined to me, and heard my cry." -Psalm 40:1 (that one was cool - I heard God say "Psalms" but not which one. But when I opened my Bible, it went right to this passage, and my eyes jumped to it.)
"Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord!" -Psalm 27:14
Noticing a pattern? Yeah, me too. And today, I really felt peace with the waiting. If you read my last post, you know I was struggling with this. I'd be lying if I said I was totally okay right now. But, I do have a sense of peace that feels divine - it is DEFINITELY not from me. Especially not from me, considering how insane my mind has been lately! I have not felt peace like this since I made the major decision to break up with my ex-boyfriend, 4 years ago.
It should be very interesting to see what I am waiting for. God knows. I will wait for Him - and keep listening to His voice.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Be Still?
Lately, God has been telling me to stop worrying so much. "Be still, and know that I am God." This has been reinforced by Kenton's messages the last two weeks (watch them online at www.marinerschurch.org), not to mention my own discussions with friends.
The problem? I don't really know how to be still. A few years ago, a good friend of mine called me a "Cannonball." Basically, I jump into things wholeheartedly, I fully commit, I don't do things halfway. I have NEVER done things halfway. Church, job, relationships, exercise, eating healthy (or not eating healthy...I down plates of brownies pretty easily) - they all receive the full commitment from Liz.
But what if I'm not supposed to do that? What if the other elements of what I'm diving into are not responding in a like manner? How do I respond to that? Lower my expectations for said thing? Give only what I'm getting? It sounds good, but also not so good. Especially for this cannonball. How do I cannonball halfway? Do I wade into the water? That's lame.
Plus the whole be still thing. I am a champion worrier. I love (hate) to explore all the options of what might happen in my head, running around and around until I am almost paralyzed with anxiety. How do I stop this? I'm not really sure.
God tells me not to worry. "Does this mean, don't worry about it because You're going to fix it, or because it won't matter soon 'cause it's going to end anyway?"
Sigh...
The problem? I don't really know how to be still. A few years ago, a good friend of mine called me a "Cannonball." Basically, I jump into things wholeheartedly, I fully commit, I don't do things halfway. I have NEVER done things halfway. Church, job, relationships, exercise, eating healthy (or not eating healthy...I down plates of brownies pretty easily) - they all receive the full commitment from Liz.
But what if I'm not supposed to do that? What if the other elements of what I'm diving into are not responding in a like manner? How do I respond to that? Lower my expectations for said thing? Give only what I'm getting? It sounds good, but also not so good. Especially for this cannonball. How do I cannonball halfway? Do I wade into the water? That's lame.
Plus the whole be still thing. I am a champion worrier. I love (hate) to explore all the options of what might happen in my head, running around and around until I am almost paralyzed with anxiety. How do I stop this? I'm not really sure.
God tells me not to worry. "Does this mean, don't worry about it because You're going to fix it, or because it won't matter soon 'cause it's going to end anyway?"
Sigh...
Monday, January 19, 2009
An addiction?
Wow, two posts in one day! I must have had the day off...
I have noticed recently that I love self-help books. Not the really crazy kinds, you know, "Eat your way to losing weight" or...I don't know, I can't come up with any more titles. Anyway, I love them. I read them voraciously. I have a lot of them.
Most of them are by Christian authors, and I do believe that they are meant to help us. But when we turn to them for answers, rather than the Bible or to God, are they really helping us? Just this evening, my friend was going to loan me a book that had some advice I wanted to get. But I left it at her house, accidentally. I was really upset about this - more upset than I should have been. I mean, it's just a person, right? Do they really know that much more than I do about this particular topic? (They probably do, but whatever...)
It's just something I'm noticing in my life lately. I need to remember that it is God, and His Word, that should guide my life. Not a random book that may or may not help me.
I have noticed recently that I love self-help books. Not the really crazy kinds, you know, "Eat your way to losing weight" or...I don't know, I can't come up with any more titles. Anyway, I love them. I read them voraciously. I have a lot of them.
Most of them are by Christian authors, and I do believe that they are meant to help us. But when we turn to them for answers, rather than the Bible or to God, are they really helping us? Just this evening, my friend was going to loan me a book that had some advice I wanted to get. But I left it at her house, accidentally. I was really upset about this - more upset than I should have been. I mean, it's just a person, right? Do they really know that much more than I do about this particular topic? (They probably do, but whatever...)
It's just something I'm noticing in my life lately. I need to remember that it is God, and His Word, that should guide my life. Not a random book that may or may not help me.
And, thus ends...
...my latest cycle of weddings.
My first cycle of weddings was right after college. Gene and Collette, Elizabeth and Barek, Alan and Monica, Tiffany and Ben, Jen and Stephen, Katie and Kolton. Bam bam bam! So many weddings all at once!
Then, a lull...for a couple of years.
Then, Ty and Jessica's (November 07).
Then, the next round, this year: Holli and Huy (May), Nate and Lindsay (August), Michael and Julianne (October), Phil and Kirsten (November) Jacky and Jon (also November, and I didn't go, I am a bad friend... :( ), Doreen and Roland (November), and yesterday, Adam and Dani.
Phew! It's been rather intense.
I love weddings, actually. The romance, the excitement. All the showers and the gifts and the laughter with girls (and guys) you love. Lots of dancing, lots of great food. Lots of meaningful reminders of why God created marriage and what marriage means today. It is a powerful thing.
I also got to bring a date to a wedding this year - twice! For the first time! That was a new experience. I liked it, actually. :) Heeheehee...
So. Done. For a bit. Although I heard a rumor that a friend may be asking soon...plus I have several friends in serious relationships. I'm sure it'll start up again in a bit - and I will love every minute of it!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Big changes
It's bizarre, isn't it, when you can watch your life change dramatically in a short period of time.
And it is fantastic when you have people around you who can both encourage you in that, and keep you sane and grounded.
Thank you, friends. I love you.
And it is fantastic when you have people around you who can both encourage you in that, and keep you sane and grounded.
Thank you, friends. I love you.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Liz waxes poetic
Nostalgia. I know I am hardly the first (nor will I be the last) to write about that great, not-so-great feeling we all get when we ache for something gone. But, hey, this is my blog, so I can do what I want. :)
So often, I feel like God moves me on before I am ready. Leaving high school, leaving college (and the wonderful small group of girls that I saw tonight), leaving Fuel, whatever. I get comfortable, and God pushes me out. Just like that eagle's nest in my previous post, I am pushed to continue on, to keep going.
A huge part of me resists it. I have never been an advocate of change. In my perfect world, I would just stay where I am, and add to my friend collection - I would never lose friends or have to leave friends behind. Change is scary, uncertain, and not my thing. Will I ever outgrow this fear? I hope so, but I have a feeling that will be a long time coming.
What's really funny about nostalgia is how it makes you more sad than happy. You go back and visit with old friends, or you return to an old hang-out, or you see an old movie. You instantly remember the great times, and then are struck with the pain of all you have lost. It's never just, "Oh, that was so great to see my old friends - I feel so upbeat." (at least for me.) Nostalgia, by its very definition, is not a happy feeling. It's bittersweet and yearning.
When I feel nostalgia, like I felt tonight, I am struck by two things. The first is how much I would like to return to that place for which I am nostalgic - a time period, an actual location, whatever. The second is the realization that I simply don't fit there anymore. I've moved on, they've moved on, the "it" we used to have is no longer there. It is the second that makes me sad. Inevitable? Of course. We all have to move on. But what I want? Definitely not.
I do know that nostalgia makes us yearn for something more, something better. Something that we can only get in heaven. So I am grateful for nostalgia, for making me desire heaven more and more each day. Some day, nostalgia will be a thing of the past, for every moment will be perfect, exactly where I want to be. The journey to get there, however, is the hard part.
So often, I feel like God moves me on before I am ready. Leaving high school, leaving college (and the wonderful small group of girls that I saw tonight), leaving Fuel, whatever. I get comfortable, and God pushes me out. Just like that eagle's nest in my previous post, I am pushed to continue on, to keep going.
A huge part of me resists it. I have never been an advocate of change. In my perfect world, I would just stay where I am, and add to my friend collection - I would never lose friends or have to leave friends behind. Change is scary, uncertain, and not my thing. Will I ever outgrow this fear? I hope so, but I have a feeling that will be a long time coming.
What's really funny about nostalgia is how it makes you more sad than happy. You go back and visit with old friends, or you return to an old hang-out, or you see an old movie. You instantly remember the great times, and then are struck with the pain of all you have lost. It's never just, "Oh, that was so great to see my old friends - I feel so upbeat." (at least for me.) Nostalgia, by its very definition, is not a happy feeling. It's bittersweet and yearning.
When I feel nostalgia, like I felt tonight, I am struck by two things. The first is how much I would like to return to that place for which I am nostalgic - a time period, an actual location, whatever. The second is the realization that I simply don't fit there anymore. I've moved on, they've moved on, the "it" we used to have is no longer there. It is the second that makes me sad. Inevitable? Of course. We all have to move on. But what I want? Definitely not.
I do know that nostalgia makes us yearn for something more, something better. Something that we can only get in heaven. So I am grateful for nostalgia, for making me desire heaven more and more each day. Some day, nostalgia will be a thing of the past, for every moment will be perfect, exactly where I want to be. The journey to get there, however, is the hard part.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Another quote from my devotional
This one is super long, but apropos to my life right now. Enjoy!
"And to the woman were given two wings of a great eagle, that she might fly into the wilderness, into her place, where she is nourished for a time, and times, and half a time, from the face of the serpent." - Revelation 12:14
After choosing a site on a rocky cliff sometimes thousands of feet above the ground, a mother eagle constructs her nest. For protection, she arranges sharp sticks along the perimeters, but inside, the nest is soft and comfortable for the eggs. So, when Ernie Eaglet pops out of his shell, he finds his accomodations quite to his liking. "Wow! What a view!"
And with Mama Eagle dropping breakfast, lunch, dinner, and an after-dinner mint into his beak every day, he's a happy eaglet indeed - until his girth increases and he begins to bump into the sharp sticks Mama purposefully placed around the nest. Suddenly, the once cozy abode becomes a little uncomfortable.
The same goes for us. When what was once so cozy - that group you were in, those people you were linked to, the job you had - gets a little irritating, you may have a tendency to grumble. But you must realize God does this intentionally because He will not allow you to perpetually nest in a place of fatness and flightlessness.
Then, just when Ernie thinks he can't stand one more poke, Mama Eagle comes, and with her powerful wings, bumps the nest - sending Ernie tumbling out. Flapping his little wings frantically yet futilely, he falls hundreds of feet and is about to crash when Mama Eagle scoops him up on her wings and takes him back to the nest.
"Whew! What was that about?" Ernie wonders.
And for a couple of days, he's happy again, being served breakfast, brunch, lunch, and dinner. But then those pesky sticks begin to bother him again, and after a couple of days, bump goes the nest, and out he falls. Once more, right when he thinks his life is over, there's Mom bearing him on her wings, returning him to the nest. Now Ernie's really wondering. "Every time I get comfortable, every time I settle back in, Mama comes and turns my nest over. What kind of parent is she, anyway?" Yet the process is repeated five or six times, until one day, Ernie soars. And as he does, he understands the pokes, the overturned nest, the perilous plummeting were all about spurring him to do what he never would have done on his own. They were all about teaching him to fly.
Precious saint, if you've been flapping or squawking or crying, this word is for you: God says, "I found you in a wasteland. You are the apple of my eye. I've got nothing but the best in My heart for you. You're not going to crash. I'll always be there to catch you. But I'm going to continue working with you that you might fly."
As a result, I am slowly learning not to be quite as squawky, quite as angry, quite as fearful - but to remember the plan of the Father to bear me on eagle's wings. The pokey sticks are preparatory for the overturning of the nest. And the overturned nest is absolutely essential to teach me to fly."
-A Day's Journey, Jon Courson, December 16
"And to the woman were given two wings of a great eagle, that she might fly into the wilderness, into her place, where she is nourished for a time, and times, and half a time, from the face of the serpent." - Revelation 12:14
After choosing a site on a rocky cliff sometimes thousands of feet above the ground, a mother eagle constructs her nest. For protection, she arranges sharp sticks along the perimeters, but inside, the nest is soft and comfortable for the eggs. So, when Ernie Eaglet pops out of his shell, he finds his accomodations quite to his liking. "Wow! What a view!"
And with Mama Eagle dropping breakfast, lunch, dinner, and an after-dinner mint into his beak every day, he's a happy eaglet indeed - until his girth increases and he begins to bump into the sharp sticks Mama purposefully placed around the nest. Suddenly, the once cozy abode becomes a little uncomfortable.
The same goes for us. When what was once so cozy - that group you were in, those people you were linked to, the job you had - gets a little irritating, you may have a tendency to grumble. But you must realize God does this intentionally because He will not allow you to perpetually nest in a place of fatness and flightlessness.
Then, just when Ernie thinks he can't stand one more poke, Mama Eagle comes, and with her powerful wings, bumps the nest - sending Ernie tumbling out. Flapping his little wings frantically yet futilely, he falls hundreds of feet and is about to crash when Mama Eagle scoops him up on her wings and takes him back to the nest.
"Whew! What was that about?" Ernie wonders.
And for a couple of days, he's happy again, being served breakfast, brunch, lunch, and dinner. But then those pesky sticks begin to bother him again, and after a couple of days, bump goes the nest, and out he falls. Once more, right when he thinks his life is over, there's Mom bearing him on her wings, returning him to the nest. Now Ernie's really wondering. "Every time I get comfortable, every time I settle back in, Mama comes and turns my nest over. What kind of parent is she, anyway?" Yet the process is repeated five or six times, until one day, Ernie soars. And as he does, he understands the pokes, the overturned nest, the perilous plummeting were all about spurring him to do what he never would have done on his own. They were all about teaching him to fly.
Precious saint, if you've been flapping or squawking or crying, this word is for you: God says, "I found you in a wasteland. You are the apple of my eye. I've got nothing but the best in My heart for you. You're not going to crash. I'll always be there to catch you. But I'm going to continue working with you that you might fly."
As a result, I am slowly learning not to be quite as squawky, quite as angry, quite as fearful - but to remember the plan of the Father to bear me on eagle's wings. The pokey sticks are preparatory for the overturning of the nest. And the overturned nest is absolutely essential to teach me to fly."
-A Day's Journey, Jon Courson, December 16
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