"In the qualitative paradigm there is a range of positions, from the idealist belief that social and human reality are created, to the milder conviction that this reality is shaped by our minds. But, all the positions posit a degree of mind involvement with subject matter not acceptable to the quantitative, positivist, realist tradition. The idea that the process of investigation can be separated from what is being investigated is possible only within that realist perspective. In the realist view, an investigation is directed toward an external referent. In the ideal view, the process is external as well as internal, a part of the investigator's active participation in shaping the world."
No joke, this paragraph is in one of my textbooks, "Exploring Research in Music Education and Music Therapy." Pretty intense stuff, huh? So, I decided to take a break. My mind had exploded.
Now, in my undergrad years, I used to read for hours and hours on end, with no stopping. Eventually (by my fifth year - Liz can be a slow learner sometimes) I realized that if I read for an hour, and then took a 15 minute break, I came back ready to learn better. (duh. Slow learner.) So, what kind of break would I take? Watch Arrested Development on Hulu.com? Read my latest Christian fiction novel, "The Yada Yada Prayer Group Gets Rolling"? (actually a great series, despite the silly title.) Or...implement something new.
I chose new. Inspired by Beth (go Beth!), I took a dance break in my room. Yep, a dance break. I turned up the tunes and rocked out to Cake's "Never There." Seriously.
3 minutes later, I came back to my reading refreshed, more awake, and a few calories lighter. It was enjoyable. I think I will continue this new break tradition. I encourage you to try it. You might be surprised. Beth, of course, already knows the value of the dance.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
What do I do?
Some people don't really understand majoring in music. "Oh, that's an easy major. You just play instruments and goof off."
Right. Obviously you never talked to me in college.
If you are feeling sadistic (or you have a theory test to prepare for, like I do), check out www.good-ear.com. It's an ear training website. THIS is something I had to do in college - identify intervals, chords, scales, etc. by ear with no instrument in front of me. I just tested myself, and I got 93 out of 106 right. Pretty awesome.
I dare you to try it. Dare you. Triple dog dare you! :)
Right. Obviously you never talked to me in college.
If you are feeling sadistic (or you have a theory test to prepare for, like I do), check out www.good-ear.com. It's an ear training website. THIS is something I had to do in college - identify intervals, chords, scales, etc. by ear with no instrument in front of me. I just tested myself, and I got 93 out of 106 right. Pretty awesome.
I dare you to try it. Dare you. Triple dog dare you! :)
Friday, June 27, 2008
Free
To be honest, I'm not sure exactly how to write this down. There are these feelings that I'm having, that I'm not sure I can express them. But hey, here goes.
I am a musician. This is how I see myself - sometimes I see myself as that even before I say I am a Christian. (perhaps it's because I've been a musician longer - 17 years vs. 10.) I did not realize that I was a musician (a TRUE musician) until high school, though. College was where it took off. I was surrounded by musicians, and I played in ensembles everyday. I studied music, I talked about music, I LIVED music. It was incredible. I felt so fulfilled.
Then I graduated, and started teaching. Don't get me wrong - teaching is great. Passing on a love of music is one of my goals. Kids are always entertaining. But working with middle school and elementary students does not satisfy me musically. I mean seriously - when your highest achievement of the day is a successful rendition of "Hot Cross Buns," what are you producing? Yes, I know - I'm building future artists and pouring into the children. True. True. But as a musician - as a creative artist (for that's what I am) - I am not being poured into, I am not working on myself, on my craft.
I have spent these past three years really pouring into my Christian faith and my walk with God. That's great. That's important - that is the most important thing. But (and you know I mean no disrespect or sacrilege here) I have done that to the detriment of myself as a musician. I have not had time to really pour into my practicing or playing. I have not developed as a musician. And that has hurt me. Many times, I felt sad - really sad - and I didn't know why. I had no idea why, actually, until I played my clarinet and playing seriously a few months ago. (Even though I play my clarinet almost every day for my students, it's not the same as paying with another musician who's at your level.) All these feelings came rushing back - "Oh that's right! Music! I'm really good at this!"
I had put music away, partly because it was a stressful thing in college. It is hard to practice 2-4 hours a day and perform all the time! But by putting it away, I denied myself a creative outlet. I stifled myself as a person. And it was wearing me down.
So...
Here, in Michigan, I am finally getting to invest in myself as a musician again. I took an amazing class this week. It challenged me to work on improvisation and jazz, in order to stretch me in new and different directions. Jazz has always felt closed off to me - partly because I play the clarinet. Many times I got "shunned," so to speak, by jazz musicians - the clarinet is not exactly a crucial jazz instrument! But this week I played the violin. I felt freer. Able to really dig in. I'm excited about jazz - for the first time! It has shown me areas that I can work on to develop ME and MY craft. That is crucial for an artist. If you're not growing, you're stifled, you're shut up, you're closed off.
It's also being here, in Michigan, in this place - it is so green and beautiful. The buildings, the trees, the quiet. I feel - open. Able to breathe. Does that make sense? Probably not. Again, not sure if I can really explain this. Even being away from my friends is refreshing (not that I don't love you all!). I can think about myself first without feeling guilty. I can really spend time with just me - and see who I am.
Summarize? Not sure I can. All I can say - I'm so glad I'm here. I can't wait to spend time learning jazz and growing as a musician. I can't wait to see where I get stretched next.
I am a musician. This is how I see myself - sometimes I see myself as that even before I say I am a Christian. (perhaps it's because I've been a musician longer - 17 years vs. 10.) I did not realize that I was a musician (a TRUE musician) until high school, though. College was where it took off. I was surrounded by musicians, and I played in ensembles everyday. I studied music, I talked about music, I LIVED music. It was incredible. I felt so fulfilled.
Then I graduated, and started teaching. Don't get me wrong - teaching is great. Passing on a love of music is one of my goals. Kids are always entertaining. But working with middle school and elementary students does not satisfy me musically. I mean seriously - when your highest achievement of the day is a successful rendition of "Hot Cross Buns," what are you producing? Yes, I know - I'm building future artists and pouring into the children. True. True. But as a musician - as a creative artist (for that's what I am) - I am not being poured into, I am not working on myself, on my craft.
I have spent these past three years really pouring into my Christian faith and my walk with God. That's great. That's important - that is the most important thing. But (and you know I mean no disrespect or sacrilege here) I have done that to the detriment of myself as a musician. I have not had time to really pour into my practicing or playing. I have not developed as a musician. And that has hurt me. Many times, I felt sad - really sad - and I didn't know why. I had no idea why, actually, until I played my clarinet and playing seriously a few months ago. (Even though I play my clarinet almost every day for my students, it's not the same as paying with another musician who's at your level.) All these feelings came rushing back - "Oh that's right! Music! I'm really good at this!"
I had put music away, partly because it was a stressful thing in college. It is hard to practice 2-4 hours a day and perform all the time! But by putting it away, I denied myself a creative outlet. I stifled myself as a person. And it was wearing me down.
So...
Here, in Michigan, I am finally getting to invest in myself as a musician again. I took an amazing class this week. It challenged me to work on improvisation and jazz, in order to stretch me in new and different directions. Jazz has always felt closed off to me - partly because I play the clarinet. Many times I got "shunned," so to speak, by jazz musicians - the clarinet is not exactly a crucial jazz instrument! But this week I played the violin. I felt freer. Able to really dig in. I'm excited about jazz - for the first time! It has shown me areas that I can work on to develop ME and MY craft. That is crucial for an artist. If you're not growing, you're stifled, you're shut up, you're closed off.
It's also being here, in Michigan, in this place - it is so green and beautiful. The buildings, the trees, the quiet. I feel - open. Able to breathe. Does that make sense? Probably not. Again, not sure if I can really explain this. Even being away from my friends is refreshing (not that I don't love you all!). I can think about myself first without feeling guilty. I can really spend time with just me - and see who I am.
Summarize? Not sure I can. All I can say - I'm so glad I'm here. I can't wait to spend time learning jazz and growing as a musician. I can't wait to see where I get stretched next.
Midwest Slang, Part I
I have no idea whether I'll really encounter more than these words that are different from California slang. If I don't, just think of this as "History of the World, Part I," but with Midwestern slang.
Today's word: ramp
Ramp: A parking structure.
"Is there a ramp nearby that I can park in?"
This really confused me - why would you want to park on a ramp? But it's IN a ramp, not ON a ramp. And they really say it.
I also love "Michigander," meaning a person from Michigan. Here I thought it meant a goose from Michigan.
Wow.
Today's word: ramp
Ramp: A parking structure.
"Is there a ramp nearby that I can park in?"
This really confused me - why would you want to park on a ramp? But it's IN a ramp, not ON a ramp. And they really say it.
I also love "Michigander," meaning a person from Michigan. Here I thought it meant a goose from Michigan.
Wow.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
The truths
Holli was totally right - what was I thinking? Whenever you share lies, you MUST share the truths to go with them. So here they are:
-I am not a jazz musician.
TRUTH: While I may not be as adept at the jazz genre at this time, that does not mean that jazz is closed to me. I can learn about jazz and become a jazz musician.
-Jazz musicians are born, not made. (i.e. you can't "become" a jazz musician.)
TRUTH: Yes you can become a jazz musician! It just takes practice - the same way I became a classical musician, or a good teacher, or learning to tie my shoes. :)
-It is easiest and best to keep going with how you've done things before.
TRUTH: While this may SEEM easiest, it actually stunts your growth as a person. It is better to change, adapt, and try new things so that you grow as a person. Example - if I had continued with the direction I was going in during college, I would be living in NorCal, spiritually stunted. Instead, I am here in SoCal (sort of), with friends and loved ones who challenge me to keep growing, and I have a vibrant relationship with God! Glory! :)
Thanks Holli - good point. :)
-I am not a jazz musician.
TRUTH: While I may not be as adept at the jazz genre at this time, that does not mean that jazz is closed to me. I can learn about jazz and become a jazz musician.
-Jazz musicians are born, not made. (i.e. you can't "become" a jazz musician.)
TRUTH: Yes you can become a jazz musician! It just takes practice - the same way I became a classical musician, or a good teacher, or learning to tie my shoes. :)
-It is easiest and best to keep going with how you've done things before.
TRUTH: While this may SEEM easiest, it actually stunts your growth as a person. It is better to change, adapt, and try new things so that you grow as a person. Example - if I had continued with the direction I was going in during college, I would be living in NorCal, spiritually stunted. Instead, I am here in SoCal (sort of), with friends and loved ones who challenge me to keep growing, and I have a vibrant relationship with God! Glory! :)
Thanks Holli - good point. :)
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Big thoughts on education and life
Grad school is supposed to stretch me - right? That's what they said when I came out in February and checked out the school. I'm supposed to be challenged in my pedagogy and my teaching, and go back in September with new ideas and ways to teach. Okay, I said. Will do.
Well, it started today! But first, some background information...
My main school that I teach at is called Tincher Preparatory School in Long Beach. Right now, the schedule is NOT conducive to building a big program. It is actually better than it used to be, but it's still bad. I only see my students every other day for an hour at a time (middle school, that is - elementary is another can of worms).
Of course, as in every area, there are some horrible programs. (mine is not one of them, yay!) There are some so-so or okay programs (I'm probably here). And there are some great programs with huge numbers of students signed up and eager to participate in music. My problem is that I tend to look at these big programs and feel that I am failing because I don't have those numbers. Never mind that my school is smaller, and my schedule works against me. I am a failure because I can't measure up.
Well, today in class, we had a pedagogy discussion that addressed this topic. We were talking about how music teachers tend to teach their students the way they were taught. For example, if you had a director who focused on winning trophies - that was the most important thing - that's what you'll probably do too. (This actually applies to other teachers, and indeed to most people. How many people claim that they won't do this or that to their kids, and then do that same thing?)
The challenge was - are you willing to change the way you teach, even if it goes against the grain of what and how you learned? Are you willing to adjust to teach things that are more relevant to the kids, in order to make music more successful? Are you willing to sacrifice teaching "classical" music all the time, if it means that kids may get more excited about music in general?
At first, this talk freaked me out. Change does that. I get freaked out. But then I started thinking - what if? What if I decide to stop comparing myself to those big programs, and instead try new things with my students? What if I try new things that I am not comfortable with? What could happen? I could fail, true. But I could also open new doors for my students - doors that they may never go through on their own.
Do you see how exciting this is? It opens up big issues for me. It even brings up lies that I might be believing about myself as a musician. For example:
-I am not a jazz musician.
-Jazz musicians are born, not made. (i.e. you can't "become" a jazz musician.)
-It is easiest and best to keep going with how you've done things before.
LIES! NO! This is big stuff, people. I am excited - and challenged - by this.
In short, it is nice to be stretched as a musician and as a teacher. It is something I haven't experienced.
Well, it started today! But first, some background information...
My main school that I teach at is called Tincher Preparatory School in Long Beach. Right now, the schedule is NOT conducive to building a big program. It is actually better than it used to be, but it's still bad. I only see my students every other day for an hour at a time (middle school, that is - elementary is another can of worms).
Of course, as in every area, there are some horrible programs. (mine is not one of them, yay!) There are some so-so or okay programs (I'm probably here). And there are some great programs with huge numbers of students signed up and eager to participate in music. My problem is that I tend to look at these big programs and feel that I am failing because I don't have those numbers. Never mind that my school is smaller, and my schedule works against me. I am a failure because I can't measure up.
Well, today in class, we had a pedagogy discussion that addressed this topic. We were talking about how music teachers tend to teach their students the way they were taught. For example, if you had a director who focused on winning trophies - that was the most important thing - that's what you'll probably do too. (This actually applies to other teachers, and indeed to most people. How many people claim that they won't do this or that to their kids, and then do that same thing?)
The challenge was - are you willing to change the way you teach, even if it goes against the grain of what and how you learned? Are you willing to adjust to teach things that are more relevant to the kids, in order to make music more successful? Are you willing to sacrifice teaching "classical" music all the time, if it means that kids may get more excited about music in general?
At first, this talk freaked me out. Change does that. I get freaked out. But then I started thinking - what if? What if I decide to stop comparing myself to those big programs, and instead try new things with my students? What if I try new things that I am not comfortable with? What could happen? I could fail, true. But I could also open new doors for my students - doors that they may never go through on their own.
Do you see how exciting this is? It opens up big issues for me. It even brings up lies that I might be believing about myself as a musician. For example:
-I am not a jazz musician.
-Jazz musicians are born, not made. (i.e. you can't "become" a jazz musician.)
-It is easiest and best to keep going with how you've done things before.
LIES! NO! This is big stuff, people. I am excited - and challenged - by this.
In short, it is nice to be stretched as a musician and as a teacher. It is something I haven't experienced.
Liz is in Michigan!
Hey everyone! I am in Michigan, earning my Masters in Music Education at Michigan State University. I will be here from June 22 to August 10. I thought I would try blogging while I'm here. I have no idea how much I'll write in this. I've never done this before. But hey, it's good to try new things, right?
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