Big changes

It's bizarre, isn't it, when you can watch your life change dramatically in a short period of time.

And it is fantastic when you have people around you who can both encourage you in that, and keep you sane and grounded.

Thank you, friends. I love you.

Liz waxes poetic

Nostalgia. I know I am hardly the first (nor will I be the last) to write about that great, not-so-great feeling we all get when we ache for something gone. But, hey, this is my blog, so I can do what I want. :)

So often, I feel like God moves me on before I am ready. Leaving high school, leaving college (and the wonderful small group of girls that I saw tonight), leaving Fuel, whatever. I get comfortable, and God pushes me out. Just like that eagle's nest in my previous post, I am pushed to continue on, to keep going.

A huge part of me resists it. I have never been an advocate of change. In my perfect world, I would just stay where I am, and add to my friend collection - I would never lose friends or have to leave friends behind. Change is scary, uncertain, and not my thing. Will I ever outgrow this fear? I hope so, but I have a feeling that will be a long time coming.

What's really funny about nostalgia is how it makes you more sad than happy. You go back and visit with old friends, or you return to an old hang-out, or you see an old movie. You instantly remember the great times, and then are struck with the pain of all you have lost. It's never just, "Oh, that was so great to see my old friends - I feel so upbeat." (at least for me.) Nostalgia, by its very definition, is not a happy feeling. It's bittersweet and yearning.

When I feel nostalgia, like I felt tonight, I am struck by two things. The first is how much I would like to return to that place for which I am nostalgic - a time period, an actual location, whatever. The second is the realization that I simply don't fit there anymore. I've moved on, they've moved on, the "it" we used to have is no longer there. It is the second that makes me sad. Inevitable? Of course. We all have to move on. But what I want? Definitely not.

I do know that nostalgia makes us yearn for something more, something better. Something that we can only get in heaven. So I am grateful for nostalgia, for making me desire heaven more and more each day. Some day, nostalgia will be a thing of the past, for every moment will be perfect, exactly where I want to be. The journey to get there, however, is the hard part.

Another quote from my devotional

This one is super long, but apropos to my life right now. Enjoy!

"And to the woman were given two wings of a great eagle, that she might fly into the wilderness, into her place, where she is nourished for a time, and times, and half a time, from the face of the serpent." - Revelation 12:14

After choosing a site on a rocky cliff sometimes thousands of feet above the ground, a mother eagle constructs her nest. For protection, she arranges sharp sticks along the perimeters, but inside, the nest is soft and comfortable for the eggs. So, when Ernie Eaglet pops out of his shell, he finds his accomodations quite to his liking. "Wow! What a view!"

And with Mama Eagle dropping breakfast, lunch, dinner, and an after-dinner mint into his beak every day, he's a happy eaglet indeed - until his girth increases and he begins to bump into the sharp sticks Mama purposefully placed around the nest. Suddenly, the once cozy abode becomes a little uncomfortable.

The same goes for us. When what was once so cozy - that group you were in, those people you were linked to, the job you had - gets a little irritating, you may have a tendency to grumble. But you must realize God does this intentionally because He will not allow you to perpetually nest in a place of fatness and flightlessness.

Then, just when Ernie thinks he can't stand one more poke, Mama Eagle comes, and with her powerful wings, bumps the nest - sending Ernie tumbling out. Flapping his little wings frantically yet futilely, he falls hundreds of feet and is about to crash when Mama Eagle scoops him up on her wings and takes him back to the nest.

"Whew! What was that about?" Ernie wonders.

And for a couple of days, he's happy again, being served breakfast, brunch, lunch, and dinner. But then those pesky sticks begin to bother him again, and after a couple of days, bump goes the nest, and out he falls. Once more, right when he thinks his life is over, there's Mom bearing him on her wings, returning him to the nest. Now Ernie's really wondering. "Every time I get comfortable, every time I settle back in, Mama comes and turns my nest over. What kind of parent is she, anyway?" Yet the process is repeated five or six times, until one day, Ernie soars. And as he does, he understands the pokes, the overturned nest, the perilous plummeting were all about spurring him to do what he never would have done on his own. They were all about teaching him to fly.

Precious saint, if you've been flapping or squawking or crying, this word is for you: God says, "I found you in a wasteland. You are the apple of my eye. I've got nothing but the best in My heart for you. You're not going to crash. I'll always be there to catch you. But I'm going to continue working with you that you might fly."

As a result, I am slowly learning not to be quite as squawky, quite as angry, quite as fearful - but to remember the plan of the Father to bear me on eagle's wings. The pokey sticks are preparatory for the overturning of the nest. And the overturned nest is absolutely essential to teach me to fly."

-A Day's Journey, Jon Courson, December 16

My first time in a wedding!

On November 22nd, I got to be in my close friend Doreen's wedding. It was my first time as a bridesmaid, so it was quite an experience! From getting our nails done the night before...

To waking up at 6am to get our hair and make up done...

...to hanging out before the wedding...

...to the amazing banquet at the reception...

...to just simply being part of Doreen's special day...

It was so much fun! A long day, true, but really really fun. I loved sitting at the head table. One of the neat things about it was that I got to hang out with the bride and groom ALL DAY LONG! (Typically, at weddings, you don't really see the bride and groom, because they're busy talking to everyone.) So that was awesome.

I am so blessed to have Doreen in my life. Love ya! Congratulations! Roland is getting a special girl!

Clouds

A random fact about Liz - I love clouds. Clouds, and sunsets. I will very often whip out my camera at random places and take pictures of the clouds. I will take pictures out my car window -and just a couple of weeks ago, I pulled over so I could take a picture of the sunrise. I have actually regretted not having my camera on multiple occasions (hence, why I carry it around all the time now.)

Why? To me, clouds speak of God's beauty. Someone (can't remember who) described sunsets as "extravagant wastefulness" - God is willing to give us so much beauty and power, and then have it drift away a few minutes later. That's one of the reasons why I like to capture it on camera - it reminds me of Him. I remember one time when I was young (13, before I was a Christian), when I saw these clouds. The sun was shining through an opening, and to me, it looked like I could walk through that opening straight into heaven. I believe that God was speaking to me at that moment - showing me Himself, through His creation.

So, here are a few of my favorite pictures of clouds, sunsets, and the like. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

My new latest obsession

So, okay, I got up early this morning, and I'm now at home watching my team lose. I should technically be planning for my week of school. But, I don't really feel like it. So, I thought I would share my latest YouTube obsession.

I heard about this in my Entertainment Weekly magazine (which came to me free at first, and which I now subscribe to. It's way better than my free Rolling Stone subscription - but the jury is still out on Glamour. I do feel my brain cells leaving my head when I read Glamour. Anyway.)

Take on Me - one of the greatest (and cheesiest) songs and videos of the 80s - has been spoofed. In the spoof, someone sings what is LITERALLY happening in the video - but to the melody of the original song. Huh? Trust me. You need to watch it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HE9OQ4FnkQ

Magic frame!

If you like that, watch this one, which is a spoof of Tears for Fears, Head Over Heels. I would love to hear which one you like better. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0TYun-Nq1Q&feature=related

"I'm acting really bashful while I'm singing to you." :)

Praise update!

Yay! Some stuff is going well. Thought I'd fill you in.

-Because gas prices are going down, I've saved an extra $20 this month!
-My personal trainer agreed to do 1/2 hour sessions instead of an hour, so we can still meet twice a week and be consistent - AND it saves me money!
-I get to teach music. Although I complain about my job, I love what I do.
-my band kids are a lot of fun.
-I finally click with the 8th graders. They are quirky and bizarre, but I love 'em.
-I love going to weddings, and there are lots of them right now!
-I have a great coworker who is one of my closest friends.
-I'm actually having some time to myself.
-I DON'T live at home - something I am thankful for everyday...
-I am working on my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health.
-I have great friends who support me and all my decisions.
-I'm having fun - for other reasons... :)

Yay for life! Things are good.

A very fun weekend!

Yay! Fun weekends!

On Friday, I got to hang out with my good good friend Becky, who I adore. (You may have seen her in previous posts on here, haha). We went out to dinner at this great Mexican place called Miguel's (yum, enchiladas...). We also went shoe shopping at Payless, and went to a fruit market, where we got super super cheap fruit! NICE! What's awesome about our friendship is how we're both trying hard to make time for each other. It's hard with life and everything, but we are making the other a priority. I love Becky!!!!

(this picture is from our road trip - over a year ago - to the Gorge to see Dave. AMAZING!)

On Saturday, I got to go to a UCLA football game with my boyfriend Rich. We left the house around 10 and made it to the Rose Bowl in 45 minutes! We got to meet up with some of my friends from band and also have lunch with my parents, and we sat with my brother and his girlfriend in the stands. The game was horrible, until the last 2 minutes, when all of a sudden, we decided to actually PLAY - and won the game! Very exciting stuff!

On Sunday, my close friends Julianne and Michael got married! That was really great, because I've known them through their whole relationship. The wedding was really beautiful, Julianne looked gorgeous, Michael looked handsome. :) Phil and Jeanna gave amazing toasts - some of the most sincere and nice I'd ever heard! There was great food, dancing...it was really fun. Lots of good conversation and good times had by all.

Now it's Monday, and I'm sick. Woohoo. Oh well - I'd do that weekend again anytime! :)

From my devotional

I thought this was nice, so I'm sharing it with you. It's from "A Day's Journey" by Jon Courson.

(October 19)

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; was me and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. - Psalm 51:7-8

As a shepherd, David understood the meaning of broken bones. You see, when a lamb would stubbornly and rebelliously continue to wander away from the flock, the shepherd would break its legs and place the lamb on his shoulder where it would remain until its bones were healed. When the lamb could walk again, so bonded was he with the shepherd, he would never stray again.

Like sheep, we all go astray (Isaiah 53:6). Therefore, in His love, the Good Shepherd breaks a bone or two and carries me while I whine and cry and wonder what He's doing. But as the days and weeks and months go by, I find myself closer to Him than I had ever been previously, and all I can say is, "Thank you, Lord."

Chick flicks are amazing

They make you sigh, and make you want to hang out with a significant other. They give you a glimpse of what God intended romance to be. They are so inspiring.

I love them!

And, for your enjoyment, here is another picture from Palm Springs. :)

All I have to say is....

My life is not made easier when my lie pops up. In a big way.

And I don't like it when people contribute to me believing my lie. Even though they don't mean to. I don't like it.

Sigh...

Palm Springs Girls Weekend!!!!

Liz has been very stressed out lately. Lots of stuff going on with work, Fuel, life in general...so this weekend was the perfect timing. Krystal, Becky, and I went to Palm Springs for a girls weekend!!!

I have actually been to Palm Springs for a girls trip before -back in 2005, with my college Bible study (and my current roommate). I have also been there a couple of times for amazing Core Retreats with my friends - so awesome, such life changing times. Needless to say, I associate P.S. with really great memories.

We left Friday after eating a delicious dinner that Krystal made. Yum! Krytal's family has a time share, which had 1 bedroom, a kitchen, 2 baths, and a living room - not to mention the hugest changing area ever. Literally, you could do a catwalk in that thing. :) It was really nice!

Side note - going on vacations with friends is AWESOME. I must do that more often. :)

We hung out and relaxed a lot. There was a ton of great conversations about various stuff in our lives. On the way out, each of us kind of spilled all the recent events, so we could have a clean slate going it. It was so good to talk about the things that have been weighing on me! Then during the weekend, we talked about other things, and gave advice, and listened, and just were girls. So crucial to have girlfriends!

We watched about a million episodes of the Office, because Krystal is like 3 seasons behind and we needed to help her. We sunbathed (and got hit on by a guy who looked like Tony Soprano, only older). We went out to eat a delicious Mexican dinner, and went clubbing too! (I felt so lame - after awhile, the lights, smoke, and people started making me dizzy, so we had to leave. I must be getting old....) It was great to get dressed up and go out on the town. So much fun!

I am so much more relaxed now, after getting away. It was exactly the right timing as things in my life continue to ramp up and get busier all the time. Girls are so crucial! Boys don't know what they're missing. :)

(btw, that picture was taken by this random old lady who walked up to us, said, "So pretty!" and snapped a picture. She then offered to take pictures of us with our own camera. She actually took 3 pictures, that came out really well! Hilarious!)

Long times of big changes

It seems to me that for the past 2 years, I have been on a constant journey of major change, self-reflection, and growth.

It all began with joining the Core team for Fuel in January 2007. (2 years ago!!! Wow!) That was intense, as I felt sort of like I had been thrown into this huge machine where there were all these moving parts. I spent the first 6 months just trying to figure out how everything worked. It was crazy, but I slowly began to get the hang of it.

Then we did the Lies and Truths series in Fuel. This involved each Core leader getting up in front of the group (of about 100) and talking about the main lie that the devil tells him or her. This may sound rather out-there, but it's true - the devil does tell us lies all the time. Everything from "you're fat" to "you're bad at your job" to "you're worthless" - I'm sure we've all heard those voices in our heads. They sound like our own voice. But they're not. Check your mind sometime - I bet you'll be surprised at how much Satan tries to get you to believe.

Anyway, I had to confront what my big lie was. Actually, first I had to FIND the lie. That involved about 2 months of soul-searching. When I did find it, it was a HUGE relief, and a huge spiritual high. I felt good for about 4 months straight! :)

(oh, by the way, I also completed the book Spiritual Growth, which introduced the concept of truth and lies to me, during these past 2.5 years. That was a 9 month study with a group of women. Again, huge big steps for me.)

Then, New Orleans. That was a big turning point for me as well, as I realized that I did not have it all together and that I couldn't fix everything. I've had lots of serious talks with various people, who have really been helping me work through those issues.

Now something else has popped up. It's interesting to me, because I am a "helps" person. That is my spiritual gift - "helps." It means that I will do whatever needs to get done in order to help the greater cause. I'm not necessarily an idea person, or a dynamic leader (although I have grown in that capacity since being on Core). But I love serving others.

The reason this is interesting to me is because God has had me on this 2, 2.5 year journey of SELF-discovery. Who would I rather be serving and working on? That's right, others. I do NOT want to be working on myself. To be honest, I feel like I'm hindering others by focusing on myself and my own needs. I've had to say no to things that seemed like they could really use me. (That sounds egotistical, but I don't mean it to be. I just mean I would love to help others with whatever they're doing, be it small groups, junior high ministry, whatever.) But no, God wants me to focus on myself. To be honest, I can't wait to be done with this time of self-growth, so I can go back to focusing on others and ignoring me.

But somehow, I have a feeling that's not going to happen anytime soon.

Liz gets sick

Hey all,

I haven't posted for a while, but whatever...life has been busy. Most recently, I got sick (Tuesday evening). Getting sick is a great experience for me. I have allergies, so most of the time, I get a cold, which turns into a sinus infection. This invariably results in a doctor's appointment where I have to twist their arm to give me antibiotics. Good times. I know all the right things to say. And I know myself best, right? I don't care that it's viral and antibiotics won't work (or whatever they say, I never remember) - just give me the drugs, and I won't die from an inability to breathe.

An interesting side effect of Liz getting sick is that Liz loses her voice. It happens to my dad too - he sounds like Barry White. I personally sound like a phone sex operator. Sweet. It makes teaching a joy. Friday I got to whisper all day long. It is really hard to get kids to hear you when they are playing band instruments! :)

Whatever. It's early in the year to get sick, but I'll get over it. I can still function. It does make hanging out with certain people more difficult however...

Hope YOU'RE all doing well, and aren't sick from me...

More Girl Meets God

Another quote from this book - if you haven't read it, go and do so right now!

(on her friend's conversion to Christianity) "Her husband was worried and upset, scared that she would turn into some person he couldn't know or understand, scared that she would become a caricature, a small-minded, fire-breathing, Scripture-spouting crazy person. A few years after her conversion, he looked up at her and said, 'You know, hon, you really haven't changed all that much.' It was true in some ways...but her husband's comment also spoke volumes about their marriage...Lil's husband could not see that...what was most basic to her - why she got up in the morning, how she saw the world, what she did with her sadness - was all different, utterly.
"Sometimes I imagine that my father sees conversoin the way Lil's husband does. I imagine he looks at me, several years into Christianity, and sees that I have not really changed that much. I am still a pointy-headed academic. I still work hard. I'm still boy-crazy and I still spend too much money on long-distance phone calls. I still would rather read than watch TV, go to the theather, or travel...I imagine he must see all those similarities, and be comforted that he has not, really, lost his daughter to Christ. And I feel sad, because that very comfort is the proof of just how much has been lost." (pg. 109-110)

Yes. Not having had a dramatic conversion (I was not a coke-addict, or a prostitute, or anything like that), I feel like my witness is somewhat weaker, at least in terms of my family. They don't see a huge difference because I'm still just as goofy, still school-oriented, still liking to read and listen to music. But they don't see the true difference, and I can't explain it to them. They don't get it.

Someday, God and I are going to have a long conversation about this in heaven. I trust His plan, but yeah. Long conversation.

Politics

From Girl Meets God, by Lauren F. Winner (thanks Angela!)

(about people asking her whether she is a an evangelical) "...Theogically, I am right in line with the evangelical mainstream, but what people want to know when they ask me whether or not I'm an evangelical is rarely theology. What they want to know if whether I vote for Pat Robertson, listen to Amy Grant, and believe the Earth is only five thousand years old. In fact, I've never voted for Pat Robertson, I prefer Mary Chapin Carpenter, and I think Darwin might have been on to something." (pg. 105)

Interesting, isn't it, how people (Christian or not) assume that you are a conservative if you are a Christian. This is a seriously touchy issue for me. I don't believe abortion is okay. I am all for family values. But I also am pro-education (duh, teacher), and I'm against war. Where the heck do I sit in the political craziness? I don't really like to talk about politics for this reason. What's even funnier is that I don't like to talk about it at all - even with Christians, who supposedly would share my views. But most of the time I get annoyed by lectures about terrorism. Do I know what's going on with Iraq, or what's best for it? No, of course not.

I guess I'm just saying that I don't like how we as Christians feel the need to identify with one political party, blanketly, with no question about the direct issues involved.

You may or may not agree with me. That's okay - I'm not working and living to please everyone on this planet.

School's Starting!

So, this is my fourth year of teaching. And for the first time, I am actually excited about starting to teach.

Is that weird? Does it concern you that I was teaching the past three years while NOT wanting to be there? Are you worried that I corrupted America's youth.

Well, I probably did corrupt them.

But!

It is simply how teaching works. We don't have a nice apprenticeship program. Student teaching is a joke - you're not really the teacher, and the students know that. It's stupid, really. Your real experience starts when you have your own class, and then it's panic mode. For a while.

But now, 4 years in, I'm excited! I'm ready to try new things that I learned while in Michigan, I'm ready to see all those adorable students again. Of course, it probably helps that some of the more annoying ones (aka the 8th graders) are gone. Now this year's class of 8th graders has a chance to get really annoying! Yay!

Anyway, I'm sure I'll keep posting about all my adventures. Maybe I'll share stories about cockroaches, or crying students, or really awesome gifts I get or something. Sound fun? Maybe? Who knows.

Here we go - 4th year!!!

The Amazing Dave Matthews Band

Last night I went to see Dave Matthews Band with my brother Dan and my friend Becky. So fun! I already wrote about how their saxophone player died yesterday. To be honest, I can't believe it. It is still shocking to me. But I said I would write about the concert, so here I go.

Becky and I drove to the Staples Center. We were rather anti for a while, because Dave is someone that should be seen outdoors. I have never seen him indoors - ever. Twice at Verizon Wireless, twice at Home Depot Center, and once at the Gorge in Washington State - ROAD TRIP! AMAZING!! :)

But it actually turned out really well. Since LeRoi had died that day, the entire concert was dedicated to him. They played a lot of his favorite songs to honor his memory. Now, if you haven't seen Dave before, you must know that they don't just play their "hits" at their performances. They don't really have "hits" - at least not with their fans. Everything is good. (I like to say that bad DMB songs are better than many groups' "good" songs!) So everything is fair game - they will play everything and anything. Sometimes you'll get a good set list, and sometimes not. It all depends. Last year at the Gorge it was very mellow, very chill. Fine, but not amazing.

Last night, they played all this stuff that they don't usually play - at least not together. For those of you who know their stuff, they played: Ants Marching, Two Step, The Dreaming Tree, Crash Into Me, Everyday, Grey Street, Bartender, Proudest Monkey, and my personal favorite DMB song ever, Dancing Nancies. (Dan and Becky said I totally flipped when they started playing it. True. I did.)

They also played "Sledgehammer" by Peter Gabriel and "Burning Down the House" by the Talking Heads. Random! That was really fun. The concert was really enhanced by Tim Reynolds, an amazing guitarist who used to play with DMB during the earlier years. (He stopped at Everyday, which is a big turning point album for the band.) So much fun! They of course played some stuff we didn't recognize as well - new songs, stuff from Dave's solo album, etc.

It was a very touching and moving performance. I think it was honestly the best Dave concert I have ever seen - and I have seen him 5 times! Amazing. We will definitely miss LeRoi. No idea whether they will continue to tour, or what. We Dave fans pray that is not the case.

(BTW, that's me and Becky in our "oversmile" pose.) :)

R.I.P. LeRoi Moore

Dave Matthews Band's saxophone player, LeRoi Moore, died today. The band still played a concert (which I will write about in a later post). This is a (pretty bad quality) video from the concert I saw last year at the Gorge Amphitheater in Washington. You can hear LeRoi on it. I thought it was a fitting (if bad quality picture-wise) tribute. You will be missed, LeRoi.

Girlfriends

Okay, so I know that girlfriends are the new thing - or the old thing - or the current thing - or something. I mean that everyone has already commented on how great they are, and how we all love them. Thanks Carrie Bradshaw. Way to take our thunder. :) People have all weighed in on what they think of having girlfriends. But what's the point of a blog if not posting your own thoughts on topics - fresh and worn out?

In college, I dated a guy for quite a while (3.5 years). When we broke up, all of a sudden, I rediscovered what it meant to have girlfriends again. (I had done the lame thing of ignoring my friends for the guy I was dating - something I hope to not repeat, at least to that extent!). I was in this amazing Bible study where we bonded, watched goofy movies, ate (A LOT), laughed, cried, and did all sorts of stuff. 4 of these girls got married right after college - it was a crazy year! :) But we stay in touch, and it is so amazing.

Tonight, I got to go out with 10 girls to dinner and a movie. (Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants - not as good as the first, but cute, nonetheless.) It was so much fun! Lots of laughter and conversation ranging from how cute we thought the actors were, to synchronized swimming, to shootings apparently happening outside of a girl's house, to (of course) wedding talk, as one of the girls is getting hitched Friday. To top it off, I met up with one the girls. We went into Old Navy, and found this pair of shoes for $8.50. No joke! Such cute shoes - and they were slightly damaged, so I got them for $6! But I wouldnt' have bought them if not for the awesome encouragement from my friend. Thanks Dani - I love the new shoes!

Guys don't have the same relationships we do. Gotta be honest- I think they're missing out. I mean, I'm sure hanging out and watching sports all the time is great. But I would rather hang with my girlfriends and discuss real life anyday.

Girls rule. :)

Back in Southern California!

Hello hello!

I can't believe I am back in Southern California for 10 months. I keep feeling like tomorrow I will go back to that freezing classroom at 8am and sit and listen to research methods, or watch a bizarre skit about teaching music that we all come with (that are all hilarious, btw), or perhaps listen to a Mozart concerto and try to identify where the Second Tonal Area begins. But alas! I am not! I am back in the real world, where not everyone is obsessed with music and not everyone understands what I do, exactly.

Not that that's a bad thing. This week I have gotten to catch up with old and new friends, and have a great time at an Angels game, at Fuel, and even at a party at my house. I've gotten lots of great hugs (which I was deprived of in Michigan - not on purpose, mind you - it's just people may not have been comfortable hugging me yet.) :) I love hugs! :)

Of course, it's beautiful weather here. The same everyday - standard sunny, kind of hot, but not too bad. I went to the beach yesterday and worked on my non-existant tan, while my perpetually tan friend Becky worked on maintaining hers. It is GLORIOUS to sleep in my own bed. And have my own bathroom. And eat normal(ish) food. And see my trainer again. And (gasp! yikes!) go back to playing the violin, which I really haven't practiced since June.

I do miss Michigan though. Maybe I'll have to visit in the dead of winter, so I can see just what I'm NOT missing by living in CA. I miss my friends! You should all come visit me! :)

Nothing much else going on in the life of Liz - at least nothing that's fit to print. ;) I will continue to write on this. No guarantees that it will be interesting. :)

Gladness and Sadness

So! Today I had my last class of my first summer of grad school. It was fine - nothing too exciting, just listened to presentions. Not like yesterday, when my philosophy class went to Starbucks to talk about how our views about teaching have changed! :)(Becky said, "I should be a teacher!" Or maybe a grad student...)

So I'm done! Woohoo! So exciting! The other day I talked to a professor that I had at the beginning of the summer. She asked me, "So have you enjoyed your summer here?" I thought for a split second, and then said, "I LOVED IT."

It's true - I have loved my time here. It's beautiful, the people are nice, and I have learned so much. True, there were some hard times. The workload was rather intense, and there were several times (especially at the beginning, on the weekends) when I was really lonely and homesick. But I grew, and made some great friends, and feel great about the experience! I am really looking forward to coming back next summer!

About those great friends...I have to leave them! :( That really bums me out. I've met some incredible people while I've been here. I don't want to say goodbye to them! Thankfully, the ones I really love will be back with me next summer. And we're going to stay in touch with Facebook, not to mention blogging and that old antique, the phone. :) But it's a bummer - I want to bring them back to CA with me! Maybe I'll move...haha, j/k...

I come home on Sunday! So excited! I arrive at 2 or so, so your prayers for a safe flight are very much appreciated. :) Looking forward to seeing all of you again!
Love you!

Some thoughts about teaching

Okay, this is partly for me, and partly for you all out there in cyberspace. If you are not a teacher, or a musician, it may not make sense. But I want to write it down, and this seems as good a place as any.

Improvisation - teach it in my classroom! Allowing students to make up their own melodies and experiment with their instrument is rather scary to think about. But at the same time, it is so freeing to realize that I don't have to teach in the traditional way. I don't have to go to festival all the time, and worry about having a huge ensemble. What a freeing idea!!!

What if we ask the students what they want to learn? GASP! In music, we are free to do that - we are not getting tested like all the other subjects. (yet - cross your fingers, America, that that doesn't happen.) What if instead of preparing for festival the middle three months of the year, I ask them what they want to learn about, and then teach it to them? What if I teach a composition unit? Do I know how to compose? Not really, no. But I could research it, and figure out some strategies, and see what happens. What would the students think about that?

Is it really that important that my band is big? No, I don't think so. I think it's more important that I show them music - in as many ways as possible. I mean, I adore music - shouldn't I be helping them to do that, in whatever way it takes?

Big thoughts for a big subject. This school year should be interesting. :)

People are nice!

I gotta say, I have been very impressed with the people here in Michigan. (Go Michiganders!) I thought I'd write out some of the stuff people have done for me while I'm here.

-taken me on a tour of Lansing and its suburbs
-taken me to UPS
-taken me to class
-taken me to the grocery store
-offered to take me to the airport (saving me $150 on a cab)
(notice the "taken me" theme? yeah. that's what happens when you don't have a car.)
-bought me food (multiple times, multiple people)
-let me stay at their house
-given me a tour of the dorm
-introduced me to the finer things in life...haha
-let me use their air conditioning
-let me rant and rave when things are crazy (either actually crazy, or just in my head crazy - thanks Angela!)

God has been using so many people to bless me while I'm here! It is awesome!

Thanks Michiganders - I love you all!

Liz

I love books!

I love books and reading! I stole this from Wrangler Dani, and I think it's amazing. Currently I'm reading Walking on Water by Madeleine L'Engle - it's about being a Christian artist. So great!

Key
1) Bold the books you have already read
2) Italicize the books you intend to read
3) Yeah, I agree with Dani - I should read all of these.
***********************

1) Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
2) The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
3) Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
4) Harry Potter series by J. K. Rowling
5) To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
6) The Bible
7) Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
8 ) Nineteen Eighty Four by George Orwell
9) His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman
10) Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
11) Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
12) Tess of the D’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
13) Catch 22 by Joseph Heller
14) Complete Works of Shakespeare (some of them - so, I guess not?)
15) Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier
16) The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien
17) Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks
18 ) Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger
19) The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
20) Middlemarch by George Eliot
21) Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell
22) The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
23) Bleak House by Charles Dickens
24) War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
25) The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
26) Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh
27) Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 ) Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
29) Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
30) The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
31) Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
32) David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
33) Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis
34) Emma by Jane Austen
35) Persuasion by Jane Austen
36) The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe by CS Lewis
37) The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
38 ) Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis De Bernieres
39) Memories of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
40) Winnie the Pooh by AA Milne
41) Animal Farm by George Orwell
42) The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
43) One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44) A Prayer for Owen Meaney by John Irving
45) The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins
46) Anne of Green Gables by LM Montgomery
47) Far From The Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy
48 ) The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
49) Lord of the Flies by William Golding
50) Atonement by Ian McEwan
51) Life of Pi by Yann Martel
52) Dune by Frank Herbert
53) Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons
54) Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
55) A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth
56) The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57) A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
58 ) Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
59) The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
60) Love In The Time Of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61) Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
62) Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
63) The Secret History by Donna Tartt
64) The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
65) Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
66) On The Road by Jack Kerouac
67) Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
68 ) Bridget Jones’s Diary by Helen Fielding
69) Midnight’s Children by Salman Rushdie
70) Moby Dick by Herman Melville
71) Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
72) Dracula by Bram Stoker
73) The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
74) Notes From A Small Island by Bill Bryson
75) Ulysses by James Joyce
76) The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
77) Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome
78 ) Germinal by Emile Zola
79) Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray
80) Possession by AS Byatt
81) A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
82) Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell
83) The Color Purple by Alice Walker
84) The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro
85) Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
86) A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
87) Charlotte’s Web by EB White
88 ) The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom
89) Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90) The Faraway Tree Collection by Enid Blyton
91) Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
92) The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93) The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks
94) Watership Down by Richard Adams
95) A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
96) A Town Like Alice by Nevil Shute
97) The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 ) Hamlet by William Shakespeare
99) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
100) Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

Total: 40

Yeah, Mitch Albom? Not so much. What about Da Vinci code? Surely that's on there only because it is/was controversial. We'll see if people are still reading that in 100 years.

Okay, I should work on my paper now.

Some thoughts about Owen

Hey everybody!

First of all - wow! 10 more days and then I'm done! Technically, I have a ton of work to do. True. But I am sort of taking the night off to relax some. I think it'll help me sleep more. :) And tomorrow I'm going to go get a pedicure and watch Dark Knight, cause I still haven't seen it yet. I'll finish my work, I promise!

In the meantime, I thought I'd tell you about my dorm.

I don't know how many of you have stayed in a dorm before. In my undergrad, I actually had a triple my first year, with bathrooms down the hall. Yeah. Not so great, to be sure. Owen (my dorm) is better. I have a single, and I share a bathroom with my suitemate, Nicole, who's really nice. The room is sizable, and I even have a chest of drawers, which is FANTASTIC. I love not having things in boxes all the time.

One of the first things I noticed about Owen was that they had these signs everywhere that said, "Reverse Osmosis Machine." I thought, "What? You're joking." Seriously - doesn't it sound like a joke? Yeah, I thought so too. But apparently it's this amazing water filter system that makes the tap water taste like bottled water. I use it everyday. It's weird, but hey, awesome, whatever.

The cafeteria serves okay food. Their Mexican is not so hot - for some reason, everything always tastes a little sweet. But what is hilarious is that there is constantly music playing. Music from the late 90s. Seriously. I have heard Hanson, Mariah Carey, Savage Garden, Spice Girls, Jewel, Hootie...all multiple times. They've also played more random bands like Primite Radio Gods and...some other stuff. It's fun, it's nostalgic - it's very random. :)

Okay, I think that's all. This next week I have 2 big papers and a final. Nothing really exciting this weekend - mostly work. Should be amazing. Keep me in your prayers!

10 days! See you soon!!!

My weekend

First of all, I had a super super time at my friend Angela's house this weekend! She blogged about it!

http://angsblogattempt.blogspot.com/2008/07/im-lizzing-my-bed.html

I got to experience what it's like to have kids. And may I say, wow, I had no idea it was so much work. A 2 year old being potty trained and a 4 month old? That is intense! :) But at the same time, while we (mostly Angela, I did a lot of sitting on the couch) were running around, I was having a blast. What adorable cute kids! They are so fun! (I definitely want kids. Just not right now.) :)

Angela and his husband were such great hosts too - I had amazing meals with Greek and Indian food, and I got to relax and laugh. We talked about politics too, which was fun - actually more fun than it usually is! :) They took me to church on Sunday. It was so nice to get out of my dorm and relax in a real house with couches and normal food. Thanks so much Angela - I'm so blessed to have made a friend like you here in Michigan!

In other news, things are insane. I will try to keep posting - I really haven't told you all about my dorm life here. But it's insane. So bear with me if I don't post for 7 days, like I did this past weekend. I'm trying!

Miss you all!

Country Music

In my research for my 15-20 page paper (on improvisation in middle school band and orchestra), I came across this paragraph:

"Disguised as a study on video dating, Zillmann and Bhatia (1989) exposed students of the opposite gender to tapes that showed male or female models who introduced themselves and then, among other things, confessed to love either classical, country, soft rock, or heavy metal music. In a control condition, no mention was made of a musical preference. Preference confession was found to exert considerable influence on the perception of the models. In the eyes of men, women who confessed to love classical music became more sophisticated, those who confessed to love heavy metal less so. In the eyes of women, men confessing to love classical music or heavy metal neither gained nor lost sophistication. They became less sophisticated, however, when confessing to love country music. Romantic attraction to the models was also influenced by the exhibition of musical taste. Allegiance with country music proved detrimental to the appeal of both men and women." (173-174, The Social Psychology of Music)


I rest my case.

Liz does not equal smooth

I am not smooth. I have never CLAIMED to be smooth. What do you mean, you ask? Well.

I'm the girl who runs into tables and knocks things over. I'm the girl who spills stuff on her shirt. I'm the girl who, when trying to be "smooth" around a guy who had just dumped her, managed to spill coffee all over someone ELSE. Yeah. I know. Impressive, huh?

Why bring this up, you ask?

Well, today a new chapter in the smoothness of Liz came into being.

Today, I went to class with two different shoes on.

Granted, the shoes do look remarkably similar:

http://www.heartratemonitor.co.uk/saucony_training_shoe.jpg

http://www.flickr.com/photos/somebear/2340708720/

But the best part is that I had a presentation today, so I dressed extra carefully with a new shirt, earrings, the whole works. I did my presentation (for an hour and a half) with my friend Angela, walking around, la dee da. Then I took a break, and looked down, and gasp! Two different shoes. Seriously. It's a little sad. Gotta be honest. Although I am very grateful I did not do that at school - I would never hear the end of it from my students. I got teased enough after I ran into a tree branch last year and ended up with a big scab on my forehead.

On the plus side, I got a 52 out of 50 on my theory midterm. I sang songs in German AND Latin today. Does that make me smooth?

No? Just nerdy.

I can live with that.

4 down, 3 to go!!!!

Wow, can you believe it? I have officially been here for a month. A MONTH!!! That's insane. I have spent a month of my life living in a different state. No, it's not a huge thing. But yet it is. And I think I should celebrate it. Don't you? Maybe I'll buy myself some ice cream later. (that's a problem - so often my rewards involve food!) :)

But I would like to recognize my month o'Michigan with a list of stuff that I've done since I've been here. Some are insignificant. Some are bigger. (I'm also trying to avoid working on my research paper, because hey, who wants to do that?) They are not ranked - or even in chronological order. They're just as things come into my head. So, hopefully you enjoy. If not, hey, not really my problem. :)

1. did all the stuff to get here by myself - getting my 70 lb. suitcase, finding a taxi, paying the taxi, checking into my room, setting up my room, etc.
2. carried a printer from the computer store to my dorm (and got honked at in the process)
3. saw fireworks in the capital of Michigan - off a river!
4. listened to a pretty good community college band (and I have experience with bad ones, let me tell you)
5. went to a minor league baseball game
6. ate vegetables with almost every meal
7. got taken out to eat a lot, by very nice Michiganders
8. learned how to show where East Lansing is on my hand
9. REALLY appreciated driving
10. had an adventure getting to a church that I never found...walking past sketchy trailers with people staring at me...
11. stayed constant with my quiet time
12. gotten a phone call EVERY DAY from people back at home - you guys are amazing!!!
13. started actually calling people from here too (thanks Becky ;) )
14. used a laptop for the first time
15. discovered Heroes on Netflix
16. improvised on an instrument that wasn't my main instrument
17. practiced clarinet - for fun.
18. played a carillon (and heard a great concert!)
19. walked in the rain in short sleeves
20. visited 2 different churches and a Bible study by myself
21. got a new passion and excitement to teach improvisation
22. encouraged people who were thousands of miles away
23. bought clothes in another state!!!!!!
24. saw the moon through a telescope
25. gone to the gym 3 times a week for 3 of the 4 weeks (ha!)
26. saw 3 new movies
27. made some new friends!!!
28. went to a barbeque by myself
29. seriously racked up the phone minutes

and...
30. missed all of you - a lot.

There are probably things I have missed in here. Many of you know might know what they are. I am currently fried in the brain, so I'm having trouble remembering. I was sort of hoping for a "wow! I didn't know Liz did that!" list. But most of these I think I already talked about. Oh well. It's good for me, anyway!

Now for laundry and research. Should be an exciting afternoon. Miss you all!!!

Lots of work!

Yep, still have lots to do. Many pages of papers to write. I have found some sources for that 15-18 source paper, so that's good, right? :)

I also went shopping today, and bought stuff. Some new shirts and a bathing suit, woohoo!

And I saw Mammia Mia. It's really cute! However, I don't like what they did with the Colin Firth character. He will always be Mr. Darcy to me.

That's really it. Nothing too exciting. Sorry, Southern California. I miss you a lot!!!

Too much work!

So, apparently I'm in grad school. The first 2 (3) weeks were pretty low key - not much work, which made for some boring times. :( But now, all of a sudden, I have a ton of work to do. Research paper with 15-18 sources, philosophy of music ed paper (10-12 pages), presentation for 3 hours next week...plus all the little reading and writing stuff on top.

Woohoo! Liz is busy!!

On the plus side, it's raining again. I love the rain!

Miss you all back at home. Hope things are awesome.

Breaking News

There is a Pita Pit in East Lansing.

Plan your trip now.

Thanks for the prayers!

So, things, as of right now, are looking up. :) Yay! Sort of a rough morning - I do find it hard to make friends sometimes. But! But! This weekend I got to go to a barbeque at a friend's house from my music theory class (uh, what an ugly sentence). That was really fun - met some more people, laughed a lot...and they even offered to give me a bike! Sweet! The hikes will no longer be so long!

And this evening, I went to a post-graduate Bible study! YAY! Everyone there (all girls) was really nice. We just kind of hung out, ate brownies (yum!), talked. But they were really friendly. It felt so good to be with people who share my beliefs. So I think I'm going to go to that - and I begged them to invite me places, so that should bode well for my social calendar while in Michigan. :)

Thank you to everyone for your encouragement and prayers while I am away! I miss you so much - you are making a difference in my life!

Superior?

So which is better, California or Michigan? Here are some reasons for both (at least based on my own limited experiences):

In Michigan:

Gas price - $4.04 a gallon. No joke.
Weather - they have it.
Less people.
A great public transportation system (as long as you know where you're going - and you know
there's a story there!)

In California:

Weather - we don't have it, but at least it's the same all the time. Good? Not sure.
Lots of fun things to do all the time.
Liz has her car.
The people!

Huh. I must be tired. Can't think of anything else for either right now. I must go read. Have a great day!

Midwest Slang, Part II

Okay, this isn't slang, but it is unique to Michigan.

For those of you who don't know your geography (like me), the state of Michigan is shaped like a hand. (Go check out a map and see for yourself!)

People here, when asked where they're from, will hold up their left hand and point to it. No joke - I've seen people do it. They even joke about it, like "Then there's this person from the thumb who showed up..."

I don't know how we would do this with California. Our whole bodies would have to be the state! "I'm from the knees..."

Bizarre.

What is practicing?

So, I kind of view this blog as "thoughts from the mind of Liz." Much of my mind is taken up with music stuff. Since most of the people I hang out with now are not musicians, I sort of see this as a place where I can explain the inner workings of a musician. Interesting? I think so. You may not. That's cool - go read someone else's blog. :)

Practicing. If you have not played an instrument, you may not be familiar with this very unique task of musicians. Practicing involves locking yourself in a room and staying there, for an extended period of time. While in that room, you work on things on your instrument (or voice, I'm not being exclusive here) that need to be fixed. You may play two or three measures (aka short bits) of music over and over with this awesome tool called a metronome, which taps out a speed for you. Slowly you speed up the passage until you can execute it with ease and confidence. You may work on scales or patterns to familiarize yourself with a particular key, like C# major. You may aurally (using your ears) transcribe a solo from a famous jazz piece to your own instrument. You may pound the piano and test yourself on intervals (see earlier post in June). But the point is, you're locked in a room, by yourself. For a long time.

During college, I ranged in practice time from 1 hour to 4 hours. (Yes, I really did have a term when I practiced for four hours a day. I was AMAZING!) The practice rooms were located in the basement of Schoenberg Music Building, all really close to each other. This allowed for some social interaction to happen. People were always going into each other's practice rooms bothering each other. Many a good conversation was had over a piano, while your instrument gathered dust in the corner. So, we made it social, even though it wasn't, really.

One of my favorite things about practicing at UCLA (and at any music school in general, really) is walking around the halls of the rooms. You can hear all sorts of music going on all around you. For example, this morning after I practiced my violin, I heard a VERY loud baritone singer practicing intervals with fairly good accuracy. I also heard someone playing one of my favorite Bach Inventions on a piano. At UCLA there was a period where EVERY piano player was learning "Rhapsody in Blue." That was neat - it's a great piece anyways, so to be surrounded by it was really fun. Other people had practice routines that never varied. One guy named Axel Schmidt (from Europe) had this same routine he did every day. For some reason we were always next to each other in rooms. So I was very used to him - and he probably got used to my long tones with crescendos and decrescendos.

Okay, I'm done! Thought I would write about it. It may be useful to you, or not. Whatever. I am going to the gym now. Have a great day!

Love you all!

Liz

Bats in the Belfry

So today was an adventure. I mean besides classes, reading, the gym, dinner, lunch, etc. I got to go to a carillon concert!

I know, what's a carillon? Basically, it's an instrument in bell towers that plays songs. It's set up like a piano (with keys set above the "white" keys like the black keys on a keyboard, but they're all made of wood), with foot pedals like an organ. MSU has one, and every day at noon someone plays a solo on it. And for the entire summer, they have guest carilloners come and play recitals. So I went!

I sat out on the lawn on a towel (cause I don't have a blanket, ha). There were actually a lot of people there, scattered about on lawn chairs, blankets, and some just on the grass. The performer played a lot of great stuff. He started with Handel's Royal Fireworks Suite (which I played in an orchestra in high school) - so fun! My students even played a movement of that this year! He also played some Irish and English folk songs like "Morning Has Broken" and even the Habanera from Carmen! Wow!

Afterwards, we got to climb up inside Beaumont tower, where the carillon is located.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beaumont_Tower

There another guy demonstrated the carillon for us. It was so cool! You hit the wooden keys with your closed fists, really bizarre. Then he let people play it! I got to play it! He had sheet music, so I picked "Simple Gifts" in Bb and went off. It was fun! Afterwards this lady complimented me on my playing. She thought I had done it before. (guess my 9 years of piano lessons paid off, huh?) I also got to look at the bells that make up the instrument. Some of them weigh 2.5 TONS! Really cool. I also talked to the guy who performed. He was nice - asked me about the fires in CA after I told him where I was from. He also said he had callouses on the sides of his hands. Is that weirder than my thumb callous? You tell me.

Hopefully, when I get back, I will post videos and pictures and all sorts of stuff. That way you can get an idea of what's been going on.

Love you all!

BTW, Beaumont Tower is "the" main building on campus - like Royce Hall at UCLA. It's pretty cool. And it's right next to the music building, which makes it especially awesome!

P.S.

My hair here is a lot bigger than at home, because of the humidity. That's impressive, because I have a lot of hair at home too - but here it's much more expanded. Good thing? Not sure...

Michigan Weather (Part I?)

Hey everyone,

What's up? I thought I would discuss the weather in Michigan. Not sure I should be writing this now, after only 2+ weeks here, but hey, I'm going to do it anyway.

So far in Michigan, I have experienced 2 big rainstorms, 1 day of just raining in the morning, some rather cold weather, some really hot weather, and some beautiful weather. What a variety! In California, the forecast for the past two weeks has been hot. (I am guessing a little here. But I don't think I have too much chance of being wrong.) Instead of the exciting variations I have gone through, I could have experienced 2 weeks of sunny weather. Blah.

Having been raised in SoCal, I am used to sunny weather. We get it for what, 40 weeks of the year? To be honest, I'm a little tired of it. I like the variety I'm getting here! Of course, having only lived in SoCal, I am not exactly experienced in the ways of crazy, true Michigan weather. I have had numerous people tell me that if/when I experienced true craziness, I would repent and gladly come back to CA, rejoicing in the 70 degree sunshine. But to be honest - at this point...I like it here! Variety is the spice of life, right? And even if I fear change in my own life, I can handle different weather. I LOVED scraping (sp? scrapping? that's not right...) the windshield when I was here in February! I know, Liz is insane.

Don't worry, I miss CA. Mostly for the people. Not the weather.

BTW, if I change my mind about the weather here, you'll hear about it. :)

Cell phones

So, I thought I was going to go over my minutes in my plan. Obviously, I've been talking on the phone a LOT more these past two weeks - at least an hour a day or so. With my wimpy 450 minutes a month plan, I was concerned - only 75 minutes left for 5 more days? Lame!

But, I called Verizon. And I have 1500 bonus minutes for resigning. They last for 2years. Sweet! :)

God is good - all the time.

Fourth of July in Michigan!

Hey everyone!

Hopefully, you've all had a safe and enjoyable 4th wherever you may be. Thought I would tell you what happened here, in the Midwest.

Woke up early, did some quiet time and then organized my finances. God is good, I still have money left over from last month despite all the spending I had to do to prepare for this trip! Hallelujah! Hung out, and watched episodes of Heroes on my computer. Decided I should check out the show a couple of days ago. It's kind of scary, but good - I like it so far. :)

Then I went to a free bbq that my dorm (Owen) was putting on. I had made a resolution to myself that I would go up and introduce myself to people - "put myself out there," so to speak. So I did. I ended up meeting a bunch of physics undergrads who are here for a research summer program. (Can you imagine doing a summer program where you do research in physics the whole time? Blech!) But they were really nice, and a group of girls was going to the pool. So I went along.

And got my first really bad sunburn of the season. It will not be the last.

I like these girls - they're really nice, funny. They're young (21 or so), but I can handle it. One of them, Shawna, is my age, even though she's an undergrad too. So that's nice.

In the evening the 5 girls (Shawna, Amy, Anna, Holly, and me) took a taxi (called Big Daddy Taxi - no joke) to Lansing. It's the capitol of Michigan. MSU is located in a suburb of Lansing, called East Lansing. Wow. We sat in a park and played cards while listening to the community band play patriotic songs. It was so Americana it was funny. Saw the fireworks. Pretty good stuff. Lots of pretty lights and loud noises.

What is funny about Michigan is that after the big show was done, people are still shooting things off. All over the place. So you could look in pretty much any direction and see sparklers, or even big fireworks going off. We saw one guy put a pretty big firework in a coke can. Not sure that was the safest thing, but hey. We walked a while, and took a cab back.

I decided to call it a night after that - I'm tired! Plus I have homework to do. Not right now, but hey. Tomorrow.

So that you for your prayers! I have a group of people to hang out with! Tomorrow night we're going to a Lugnuts game - it's the farm team for the Toronto Bluejays. Should be entertaining!

Love you all! Talk to you soon!

Spiritual Warfare

(in the life for Liz...for Dani) :)

So we all know that spiritual warfare is a huge part of our Christian walk. Satan is constantly trying to get us down, take us out, make us ineffective as Christians. What does he like to do? What is his modus operandi (or M.O., for you military people)?

First, he gets us alone.

Then, he takes us out.

So...right now, I'm basically alone, people wise. Not really, because I am slowly making acquaintances (sp?) and friends here in the music building. But in terms of having people around me who REALLY KNOW ME, who know my struggles, my lies, whatever, and who support me in my life - I'm basically alone here. How the heck did you do this, Becky?

Today, I was practicing my violin. Nothing too special, just the stuff from my violin lessons at home. And I started hearing in my head (disguised as my own voice, of course), "What are you thinking? You can't teach jazz! You're a classical musician! It'll be too hard - best to just stick to what you know."

I recognized this for what it was, and said, "Well, yes, it's going to be hard, and yes, it's going to stretch me, but it will help me grow as a teacher and a musician. I think the kids are really going to enjoy it. I'm going to do it."

Seeing that THAT route didn't work, Satan tried something else. "Man, it's hard, huh? This is basically a commuter school for masters students. You're not going to make any friends here. Even the people you walked to class with aren't really interested in hanging out with you. They didn't even want to go to that concert with you tonight. What are you going to do for 4th of July? Hang out by yourself and watch fireworks? You're lame."

At which point I said, "Yes, it's difficult to make friends here. Yes, it's going to take some time. No, I don't know what I'm going to do for 4th of July. But that doesn't mean I am not valuable, worthwhile, or interesting! I am a great awesome person, and I can make friends. I just need to find the right venue."

And I also said, "God, help!"

So, if you can, please pray for me. Satan has got me alone, and he wants to take me out. Little does he know that I have been able to encourage people in SoCal even though I'm in a different state! (actually he does know this. Probably why he's stepping up.)

I'm off to read, eat lunch, and read some more. Maybe go to the gym. We'll see. :)

Love you all!

awww....

Liz misses her friends! Today was the first day that I wanted to go back to California. I don't really miss the place - actually, the weather today was basically SoCal weather. Hot, dry, blech. But I really miss my friends! (not that I didn't miss you before, of course!) So - wanted you to know - you're in my thoughts.

Community here is a bit hard to come by. Coming off of Fuel, it seems very odd not to have a ton of people around me, ready to have all sorts of adventures. So, if you would, please pray for me, that I can get connected to community. A church would be awesome. Or the music major community. (that one is hard - lots of people driving from other parts of Michigan to take these classes - not a lot of people staying on campus, actually.) I really appreciate your prayers.

And of course, you can let me know how I can pray for you! My email is lizthomson82@gmail.com. I would love to pray for you.

I miss you all!

Liz takes a break

"In the qualitative paradigm there is a range of positions, from the idealist belief that social and human reality are created, to the milder conviction that this reality is shaped by our minds. But, all the positions posit a degree of mind involvement with subject matter not acceptable to the quantitative, positivist, realist tradition. The idea that the process of investigation can be separated from what is being investigated is possible only within that realist perspective. In the realist view, an investigation is directed toward an external referent. In the ideal view, the process is external as well as internal, a part of the investigator's active participation in shaping the world."

No joke, this paragraph is in one of my textbooks, "Exploring Research in Music Education and Music Therapy." Pretty intense stuff, huh? So, I decided to take a break. My mind had exploded.

Now, in my undergrad years, I used to read for hours and hours on end, with no stopping. Eventually (by my fifth year - Liz can be a slow learner sometimes) I realized that if I read for an hour, and then took a 15 minute break, I came back ready to learn better. (duh. Slow learner.) So, what kind of break would I take? Watch Arrested Development on Hulu.com? Read my latest Christian fiction novel, "The Yada Yada Prayer Group Gets Rolling"? (actually a great series, despite the silly title.) Or...implement something new.

I chose new. Inspired by Beth (go Beth!), I took a dance break in my room. Yep, a dance break. I turned up the tunes and rocked out to Cake's "Never There." Seriously.

3 minutes later, I came back to my reading refreshed, more awake, and a few calories lighter. It was enjoyable. I think I will continue this new break tradition. I encourage you to try it. You might be surprised. Beth, of course, already knows the value of the dance.

What do I do?

Some people don't really understand majoring in music. "Oh, that's an easy major. You just play instruments and goof off."

Right. Obviously you never talked to me in college.

If you are feeling sadistic (or you have a theory test to prepare for, like I do), check out www.good-ear.com. It's an ear training website. THIS is something I had to do in college - identify intervals, chords, scales, etc. by ear with no instrument in front of me. I just tested myself, and I got 93 out of 106 right. Pretty awesome.

I dare you to try it. Dare you. Triple dog dare you! :)

Free

To be honest, I'm not sure exactly how to write this down. There are these feelings that I'm having, that I'm not sure I can express them. But hey, here goes.

I am a musician. This is how I see myself - sometimes I see myself as that even before I say I am a Christian. (perhaps it's because I've been a musician longer - 17 years vs. 10.) I did not realize that I was a musician (a TRUE musician) until high school, though. College was where it took off. I was surrounded by musicians, and I played in ensembles everyday. I studied music, I talked about music, I LIVED music. It was incredible. I felt so fulfilled.

Then I graduated, and started teaching. Don't get me wrong - teaching is great. Passing on a love of music is one of my goals. Kids are always entertaining. But working with middle school and elementary students does not satisfy me musically. I mean seriously - when your highest achievement of the day is a successful rendition of "Hot Cross Buns," what are you producing? Yes, I know - I'm building future artists and pouring into the children. True. True. But as a musician - as a creative artist (for that's what I am) - I am not being poured into, I am not working on myself, on my craft.

I have spent these past three years really pouring into my Christian faith and my walk with God. That's great. That's important - that is the most important thing. But (and you know I mean no disrespect or sacrilege here) I have done that to the detriment of myself as a musician. I have not had time to really pour into my practicing or playing. I have not developed as a musician. And that has hurt me. Many times, I felt sad - really sad - and I didn't know why. I had no idea why, actually, until I played my clarinet and playing seriously a few months ago. (Even though I play my clarinet almost every day for my students, it's not the same as paying with another musician who's at your level.) All these feelings came rushing back - "Oh that's right! Music! I'm really good at this!"

I had put music away, partly because it was a stressful thing in college. It is hard to practice 2-4 hours a day and perform all the time! But by putting it away, I denied myself a creative outlet. I stifled myself as a person. And it was wearing me down.

So...

Here, in Michigan, I am finally getting to invest in myself as a musician again. I took an amazing class this week. It challenged me to work on improvisation and jazz, in order to stretch me in new and different directions. Jazz has always felt closed off to me - partly because I play the clarinet. Many times I got "shunned," so to speak, by jazz musicians - the clarinet is not exactly a crucial jazz instrument! But this week I played the violin. I felt freer. Able to really dig in. I'm excited about jazz - for the first time! It has shown me areas that I can work on to develop ME and MY craft. That is crucial for an artist. If you're not growing, you're stifled, you're shut up, you're closed off.

It's also being here, in Michigan, in this place - it is so green and beautiful. The buildings, the trees, the quiet. I feel - open. Able to breathe. Does that make sense? Probably not. Again, not sure if I can really explain this. Even being away from my friends is refreshing (not that I don't love you all!). I can think about myself first without feeling guilty. I can really spend time with just me - and see who I am.

Summarize? Not sure I can. All I can say - I'm so glad I'm here. I can't wait to spend time learning jazz and growing as a musician. I can't wait to see where I get stretched next.

Midwest Slang, Part I

I have no idea whether I'll really encounter more than these words that are different from California slang.  If I don't, just think of this as "History of the World, Part I," but with Midwestern slang.

Today's word:  ramp

Ramp:  A parking structure.

"Is there a ramp nearby that I can park in?"

This really confused me - why would you want to park on a ramp?  But it's IN a ramp, not ON a ramp.  And they really say it. 

I also love "Michigander," meaning a person from Michigan.  Here I thought it meant a goose from Michigan.
Wow.

The truths

Holli was totally right - what was I thinking? Whenever you share lies, you MUST share the truths to go with them. So here they are:

-I am not a jazz musician.
TRUTH: While I may not be as adept at the jazz genre at this time, that does not mean that jazz is closed to me. I can learn about jazz and become a jazz musician.

-Jazz musicians are born, not made. (i.e. you can't "become" a jazz musician.)
TRUTH: Yes you can become a jazz musician! It just takes practice - the same way I became a classical musician, or a good teacher, or learning to tie my shoes. :)

-It is easiest and best to keep going with how you've done things before.
TRUTH: While this may SEEM easiest, it actually stunts your growth as a person. It is better to change, adapt, and try new things so that you grow as a person. Example - if I had continued with the direction I was going in during college, I would be living in NorCal, spiritually stunted. Instead, I am here in SoCal (sort of), with friends and loved ones who challenge me to keep growing, and I have a vibrant relationship with God! Glory! :)

Thanks Holli - good point. :)

Big thoughts on education and life

Grad school is supposed to stretch me - right? That's what they said when I came out in February and checked out the school. I'm supposed to be challenged in my pedagogy and my teaching, and go back in September with new ideas and ways to teach. Okay, I said. Will do.

Well, it started today! But first, some background information...

My main school that I teach at is called Tincher Preparatory School in Long Beach. Right now, the schedule is NOT conducive to building a big program. It is actually better than it used to be, but it's still bad. I only see my students every other day for an hour at a time (middle school, that is - elementary is another can of worms).

Of course, as in every area, there are some horrible programs. (mine is not one of them, yay!) There are some so-so or okay programs (I'm probably here). And there are some great programs with huge numbers of students signed up and eager to participate in music. My problem is that I tend to look at these big programs and feel that I am failing because I don't have those numbers. Never mind that my school is smaller, and my schedule works against me. I am a failure because I can't measure up.
Well, today in class, we had a pedagogy discussion that addressed this topic. We were talking about how music teachers tend to teach their students the way they were taught. For example, if you had a director who focused on winning trophies - that was the most important thing - that's what you'll probably do too. (This actually applies to other teachers, and indeed to most people. How many people claim that they won't do this or that to their kids, and then do that same thing?)

The challenge was - are you willing to change the way you teach, even if it goes against the grain of what and how you learned? Are you willing to adjust to teach things that are more relevant to the kids, in order to make music more successful? Are you willing to sacrifice teaching "classical" music all the time, if it means that kids may get more excited about music in general?

At first, this talk freaked me out. Change does that. I get freaked out. But then I started thinking - what if? What if I decide to stop comparing myself to those big programs, and instead try new things with my students? What if I try new things that I am not comfortable with? What could happen? I could fail, true. But I could also open new doors for my students - doors that they may never go through on their own.
Do you see how exciting this is? It opens up big issues for me. It even brings up lies that I might be believing about myself as a musician. For example:

-I am not a jazz musician.
-Jazz musicians are born, not made. (i.e. you can't "become" a jazz musician.)
-It is easiest and best to keep going with how you've done things before.

LIES! NO! This is big stuff, people. I am excited - and challenged - by this.

In short, it is nice to be stretched as a musician and as a teacher. It is something I haven't experienced.

Liz is in Michigan!

Hey everyone! I am in Michigan, earning my Masters in Music Education at Michigan State University. I will be here from June 22 to August 10. I thought I would try blogging while I'm here. I have no idea how much I'll write in this. I've never done this before. But hey, it's good to try new things, right?