I got back on Saturday. Back to sunny (somewhat) Southern California, where I have spent almost all of my life. My husband greeted me with candles, rose petals, balloons, a red carpet, bouquets, steak, wine, ice cream, cake, crab and lots of hugs and kisses. I am so happy to be home, happy to be with him. We will NEVER do something like that again, as long as we have control of it!
He went off to work though. I'm on vacation.
Now, I am an independent person. I hear some of you out there saying, "He's not your whole life!" And he's not. The reason I feel restless is that I don't have anyone here at the house to distract me.
See, I haven't really had time to rest for about...maybe a year and a half, maybe 2 years. I haven't had a normal, long summer (teacher summer, yeah!) since 2007. I've had 3 weeks, 4 weeks to recover from school, and then back to the grind. Last summer, I came back engaged, and literally, two days after returning, I was running wedding errands with my mom. I think we found the location Monday, got my dress Wednesday, and just went from there. It was hectic.
Now, for the first time in a LONG time, I don't have anything in particular to do. And it's making me feel weird.
"I know! I can organize the bathroom cabinet and drawers!"
No, you should rest.
"I know! I can take up that cross-stitching hobby I did in college!"
Maybe, but mostly you should rest.
"I know! I'll go to the gym everyday for 10 hours!"
Or not.
"I know! I need to call EVERYONE and set up times to get together so that I see EVERYONE, ALL AT ONCE!"
Is that really the best?
God is telling me to slow down, but I am feeling uncomfortable and weird about it. I'm sure I'll get used to it in a few days. I won't feel so awkward. But right now, I really do need to rest.
If only my body and brain could believe what my heart knows deeply.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
Done
Yeah.
Haven't written in a while.
Big news is that I am finished with my masters. How crazy is that, right? I started on this journey two years ago, heavily involved with my amazing church group. Two years later, that group is no longer around (at least in the incarnation it was then), I am married, and who knows what other exciting life developments lay around the corner. I am not the person I was two years ago. Life changes so much, so quickly. It always amazes me when people say things like, "I've been doing this job for twenty years," as if twenty years just flew by. Maybe it did for them, but the events of every day in this world are so numerous - I can't imagine twenty years just flying by like that.
Anyway.
One of my problems with blogging is that I have all these thoughts, and I can't really express them. I constantly feel like I have big ideas in my head, but when I explain them, very few people understand me. Those people who do are very very very very important to me. (You know who you are, my kindred spirit.)
Anyway.
I finished my masters degree. This summer was difficult in a few different ways. Studying for my comprehensive exams was weird, because I didn't have a direct plan or guidance from others. It was just, "Study. Write an essay. Write an outline for the essay. Memorize the outline. Then practice writing the exam. Then go and regurgitate the essays in a three-hour time period. Then, a week later, defend it in front of a panel." Kind of intense, right? Yeah. It was. I passed it, so that's good. I did not particularly like being on the hot seat for an hour being questioned about why Chuck Berry is more important than Little Richard, but that's what I had to do. (I know, my classes are cooler than yours.)
My classes in general were different this year too. I took Score Analysis, which analyzed musical works with groups of people. Interesting, but also intimidating, as the professor is probably the smartest man I know. Took conducting, which was helpful, but also a little frustrating. I don't think about conducting a lot at my job. But that's okay. Voice lessons were kind of back and forth, as I found my musicianship challenged. Plus I took a jazz workshop that was very frustrating. ("You just have to listen to jazz. You know, listen to it.") Right...
Being away from Kevin is/was very difficult. My friend Ali pointed out to me that we had been married for about 9 weeks when I left for 6 weeks. Literally, I spent 2/3 of the time we had been married away from my husband - isn't that crazy? Yeah, it is. I get to see him tomorrow. I am really excited. This day could not go fast enough.
I know I am really rambly here. I'm feeling bored and I want the day to pass quickly so I can get home. Will I miss it here? Of course. I will miss being challenged and thinking about my teaching. I will miss the people - such amazing people, such sincere people. People who understand me and what I do, more than most people in California. I will miss Jimmy Johns. I have no idea where there isn't a franchise in CA. :) I will miss the beautiful green trees and the rain.
But I will be happy to return to my husband, and to my friends who have known me for so long. Considering that I joined Fuel in 2005, I have friends there who have known me and done life with me for five years...not to mention friends I have known longer. I will be happy to not be in a humid environment. I will be happy to rest.
My apologies if this was too rambly for you. My head is full, my heart is sad - yet happy. Makes for a rather confused blog.
Oh well.
I am a master of music.
That certainly counts for something, right? :)
Haven't written in a while.
Big news is that I am finished with my masters. How crazy is that, right? I started on this journey two years ago, heavily involved with my amazing church group. Two years later, that group is no longer around (at least in the incarnation it was then), I am married, and who knows what other exciting life developments lay around the corner. I am not the person I was two years ago. Life changes so much, so quickly. It always amazes me when people say things like, "I've been doing this job for twenty years," as if twenty years just flew by. Maybe it did for them, but the events of every day in this world are so numerous - I can't imagine twenty years just flying by like that.
Anyway.
One of my problems with blogging is that I have all these thoughts, and I can't really express them. I constantly feel like I have big ideas in my head, but when I explain them, very few people understand me. Those people who do are very very very very important to me. (You know who you are, my kindred spirit.)
Anyway.
I finished my masters degree. This summer was difficult in a few different ways. Studying for my comprehensive exams was weird, because I didn't have a direct plan or guidance from others. It was just, "Study. Write an essay. Write an outline for the essay. Memorize the outline. Then practice writing the exam. Then go and regurgitate the essays in a three-hour time period. Then, a week later, defend it in front of a panel." Kind of intense, right? Yeah. It was. I passed it, so that's good. I did not particularly like being on the hot seat for an hour being questioned about why Chuck Berry is more important than Little Richard, but that's what I had to do. (I know, my classes are cooler than yours.)
My classes in general were different this year too. I took Score Analysis, which analyzed musical works with groups of people. Interesting, but also intimidating, as the professor is probably the smartest man I know. Took conducting, which was helpful, but also a little frustrating. I don't think about conducting a lot at my job. But that's okay. Voice lessons were kind of back and forth, as I found my musicianship challenged. Plus I took a jazz workshop that was very frustrating. ("You just have to listen to jazz. You know, listen to it.") Right...
Being away from Kevin is/was very difficult. My friend Ali pointed out to me that we had been married for about 9 weeks when I left for 6 weeks. Literally, I spent 2/3 of the time we had been married away from my husband - isn't that crazy? Yeah, it is. I get to see him tomorrow. I am really excited. This day could not go fast enough.
I know I am really rambly here. I'm feeling bored and I want the day to pass quickly so I can get home. Will I miss it here? Of course. I will miss being challenged and thinking about my teaching. I will miss the people - such amazing people, such sincere people. People who understand me and what I do, more than most people in California. I will miss Jimmy Johns. I have no idea where there isn't a franchise in CA. :) I will miss the beautiful green trees and the rain.
But I will be happy to return to my husband, and to my friends who have known me for so long. Considering that I joined Fuel in 2005, I have friends there who have known me and done life with me for five years...not to mention friends I have known longer. I will be happy to not be in a humid environment. I will be happy to rest.
My apologies if this was too rambly for you. My head is full, my heart is sad - yet happy. Makes for a rather confused blog.
Oh well.
I am a master of music.
That certainly counts for something, right? :)
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