Monday, August 9, 2010


I got back on Saturday. Back to sunny (somewhat) Southern California, where I have spent almost all of my life. My husband greeted me with candles, rose petals, balloons, a red carpet, bouquets, steak, wine, ice cream, cake, crab and lots of hugs and kisses. I am so happy to be home, happy to be with him. We will NEVER do something like that again, as long as we have control of it!

He went off to work though. I'm on vacation.

Now, I am an independent person. I hear some of you out there saying, "He's not your whole life!" And he's not. The reason I feel restless is that I don't have anyone here at the house to distract me.

See, I haven't really had time to rest for about...maybe a year and a half, maybe 2 years. I haven't had a normal, long summer (teacher summer, yeah!) since 2007. I've had 3 weeks, 4 weeks to recover from school, and then back to the grind. Last summer, I came back engaged, and literally, two days after returning, I was running wedding errands with my mom. I think we found the location Monday, got my dress Wednesday, and just went from there. It was hectic.

Now, for the first time in a LONG time, I don't have anything in particular to do. And it's making me feel weird.

"I know! I can organize the bathroom cabinet and drawers!"

No, you should rest.

"I know! I can take up that cross-stitching hobby I did in college!"

Maybe, but mostly you should rest.

"I know! I'll go to the gym everyday for 10 hours!"

Or not.

"I know! I need to call EVERYONE and set up times to get together so that I see EVERYONE, ALL AT ONCE!"

Is that really the best?

God is telling me to slow down, but I am feeling uncomfortable and weird about it. I'm sure I'll get used to it in a few days. I won't feel so awkward. But right now, I really do need to rest.

If only my body and brain could believe what my heart knows deeply.

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